


ghost-bergara.tumblr.com

by onetiredboy



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, Internet Friends AU, M/M, Shane Being an Asshole, ryan runs a paranormal tumblr, shyan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-03-10 12:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13502078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onetiredboy/pseuds/onetiredboy
Summary: Ryan runs a tumblr blog well known among the paranormal discussion community.Shane runs a personal blog barely known for poor surreal memes and shitting on bad science.Ghosts are bad science.





	1. the taggening

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S THE RETURN OF ME TO FANFIC AFTER MORE THAN A YEAR AKJFDSGFDGHF
> 
> this fic will hopefully be more than a few chapters long :')))) and was inspired by tumblr user @bonelessdemon's bfu internet friends au. i don't really know what i'm doing with it b u t i did enjoy the idea of it. 
> 
> p.s! this first chapter is just a lil' intro to get it out there :)

_dogboner69 mentioned you in a post._

Shane clicked the notification the moment it popped up. Isaque "dogboner" Mendes was a professional Portugues shitposter Shane had met a few years ago. While they almost never talked, he was Shane's main source of entertainment. But the post he'd tagged him in was immediately different to the normal height memes and poorly-written buzzfeed articles he shared.

_ghost-bergara: 10 theories as to why the waverley hill sanitarium is definitely haunted by ghosts._

_The fuck?_

 


	2. context

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is literally tHE dumbest thing i've ever written and i'm dead bc of it
> 
> this chapter is 666 words

Shane scrolled down slowly, letting his eyes skim over the text without paying too much attention. Op seemed really invested in all this shit. Every few paragraphs was intercepted with a grainy photo of shadows, clearly faked or harmless, accredited to dodgy sources. He reached the bottom of the post, which ended on a half-hearted note about the mystery of waverley hill forever remaining unconfirmed (or something like that), and read the tags. 

_#sounds like a holiday destination ey shan? #ghost fucking research_

Ghost fucking--  _now_ it made sense. Isaque had recently broken a 30-day bet of silence on discussion of the paranormal by creating his controversial post 'bigfoot is real, he fucked me last night'. (Shane had been referenced in the tags.) The post had begun a huge fight within Shane's mutuals on whether bigfoot counted as paranormal discussion, and Isaque had ended up so fed up with the argument that to stop all further discussion he created a seemingly endless stream of posts centred vaguely around the desire to fuck a ghost. 

Shane clicked on the small arrow and sent the post back to Isaque. 

_popcornfucker69: why would u send this to me i dont have ur ghost fucking kink izaq._

The response was immediate.

_dogboner69: because i want you to come fuck a ghost with me, shan. you know this. i've been tagging you in posts all night._

_popcornfucker69: i just woke up._

_popcornfucker69: fucking a ghost would be a pretty unsatisfying experience, though_

_popcornfucker69: since they're not real  
_

_popcornfucker69: but i'll film you doing it if you want._

_dogboner69: you'll see... once i fuck a ghost you'll know they exist_

_popcornfucker69: you're right. that's the only thing that would convince me._

Isaque sent another meme about the correct way to talk to short people. Shane minimised the chat. 

He cleared the ghost post out of his vision, returning to his dash and beginning his daily trawl downhill for good content. There were a lot of memes he'd seen before, a few mildly amusing screenshots of Instagram posts that were probably screenshotted off tumblr in the first place, and of course, Isaque's continuing stream of posts. A part of his body begged him to get out of the chair and make himself breakfast, but it was quashed by his meme-finding instincts. He was sure that something worth his reblog was just around the corner. 

A little notification popped up in the corner of Shane's eye, down where an endless stack of icons belonging to different chats were ever minimised and never closed. 

_killmedaddy69:_ _im so sick of your bullshit shane did you encourage this_

It came with a post. One of Isaque's posts, obviously freshly made. 

**_'@/popcornfucker69 would film me fucking a ghost if it meant proving that ghosts are real.'_ **

Shane returned to the chat

_popcornfucker69: i dont see a problem_

_killmedaddy69: i'm_

_killmedaddy69: i'm literally this close to blocking both of you_

_popcornfucker69: then you'd have to take 69 out of your username and be banished from the club forever_

_killmedaddy69: uhh excuse me. you've been asleep. ive been tagged in almost every one of these posts for the last 10 hours. it's like some twisted form of revenge. i beg for release from this hell you've entrapped me in._

Shane's response to this was to reblog Isaque's post with the add on 'i would do anything to prove that my life long obsession with ghosts and ghost related sexual encounters hasn't been for no reason. i know what happened to me, and if taking video proof is the only way that the world will believe my story, then i will do anything to get it.' He finished with the tasteful tag  _#i want to get to the bottom of this like that ghost got to the bottom of me_ , a few other ghost-related tags, and posted it off into the universe.

Within five minutes, the message rolled in:

_killmedaddy69: ADKFKJFDKJSKJD i hate you_

Shane grinned and closed his browser window. 

 

 


	3. viral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does one accidentally troll an entire online community?  
> Simple. Make a dumb post about ghosts.

_Holy shit._

Shane read the number again. 

_1,676 notes._

Out of all the serious posts he made disproving bullshit science myths that everybody believes, after some of the most legendary smackdowns of tumblr racists ever to grace his blog, after all of the hours poured into his most-used computer program, MS Paint, to make high quality surrealist memes, it was a post about having sex with ghosts that put Shane's blog on the map.

Ghost sex. 

There was a small aspect of pride, he'd admitted to Isaque, when he chased him up for due credits to his new fame, but it was swamped far under layers of bitterness. He'd gained five new followers, all of them conspiracy blogs. He'd started  _arguments_ in the ghost-hunting community about whether his post was serious or a joke. Someone had added the caption 'reblog if you will only believe ghosts exist if one fucks you' which had gained at least a few hundred of the notes. He even had ten asks in his inbox pressing for more details on his ghoulish sexual encounter.

_dogboner69: i'm just saying it's me that got you famous._

_popcornfucker69: i'm going to have to change my url_

_popcornfucker69: or delete my account_

_dogboner69: are you kidding me?? this is a gift. do you realise that????_

_dogboner69: you're the only person in the world who's had sex with a ghost_

_popcornfucker69: so you're saying what. i start agreeing to interviews? write a book? get a documentary made about me?_

_dogboner69: yes_

_dogboner69: that's exactly what i mean_

_dogboner69: you can say whatever you want_

_dogboner69: you literally have so much power rn_

_popcornfucker69: ..._

Shane leaned back in his chair and grinned at the screen. Isaque was stupid, but he did have a point. 

_popcornfucker69: if i get more famous in the ghost community than you get for shitposting, will you agree to changing your url to whatever i say?_

_dogboner69: only if you do it in 3 months. otherwise you have to change ur url to whatever i say_ _._

Oh, it was on. There were two ways to get famous in any kind of online community or fandom. One: become a joke within the community. Two: shit all over people's interests and fight them over whether or not they were true. And when it came to ghosts? Shane could do both of those without even trying. And it would start with the message in his inbox. 

 


	4. ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh, and by the way, this isn't over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!!! this chapter wont be up for long. im just letting y'all know that it's exam block atm for me (while i imagine most of y'all are on spring break..... smh...... americans) but with holidays & camp nano coming up i hope that i'll be updating this again super soon! <3 thanks for ur patience

yeah sorry ladz but i have 2 pass chemistry and maths or ill die :{ the ib is cruel


End file.
